25 tips on how to carry yourself

Knowing how to carry yourself...

It takes a certain finesse so let's go over simple practical ways to carry yourself properly. This is a series I'm doing since I'm turning 25, anyway let's jump right in on some tips for good etiquette and advice which will help you come across well..

1. Practice good mannerisms and never be rude. Say please and thank you and remain pleasant and well-mannered. Simple but effective. Poor manners always go noticed so if you haven't adopted basic manners yet then you should of really started yesterday but it's never too late to start. 
2. Have good posture so that you come across sure of yourself (even if you're not). 
3. Be punctual, show up and always be on time because lateness can be seen as disinterested and I would even go as far as saying it can be disrespectful. Please appreciate peoples time. "If you're always early, you're never late." Is a rule I live by and it never fails me because I'm rarely late and being early makes me a lot less flustered. 
4. Organise yourself because coming prepared and being put together will make you less stressed and again these things affect the way we present ourselves and our demeanor. "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail." 
5. Offer grace. Underrated but I can't even begin to express it's importance, I offer people so much grace because you can have all the manners in the world but the moment you use them as an excuse to act hostile to those who lack them shows a lack of composure. Sometimes people are in a daze or have had a bad day so they may not say thank you when you hold the door open for them and sometimes people just have bad behaviour but that doesn't mean we should let them pull us down to their level. My best advice would be to stop expecting you from others and start leading by example. People forget to be gracious sometimes but that shouldn't influence your own behaviour, you can only control your own actions so focus on that rather than other people. It's all you can do so channel your inner Grace Kelly.
6. Don't show up to an event you were invited to without a gift for the host and always thank them for the invite. It's a good practice to bring something, just a small thing, it's not about making a grant gesture it's simply a courtesy. 
7. Don't overstay your welcome. Being demanding of another persons time can be seen as entitled. It's okay to enjoy someone's company but let it end instead of latching onto them. You do have to read the room with this one as there is no set time and it will depend on who the company is and the occasion etc. 
8. Be considerate of other people's feelings and respect their opinions as long as they're not harming anyone. This can be difficult but turning everything into a debate can be inappropriate. We can't expect everyone to have the same opinions as us and that's that, doesn't mean you can't have fun. 
9. Remember to include people as no one likes people that are cliquey and it's bad to make your friends feel left out so don't be that person. There's something really personable about people that know how to respect other people and make them feel welcome. Charisma is magnetic and you'll find people will gravitate towards you more if you have that added warmth so please be your most charming self and include others in the conversation and don't speak about things they can't involve themselves in. 
10. Get to know people, ask their names and remember to use them. Ask about them. Be thoughtful. This is something I struggle with, I'm awful with names and I'm admittedly not the most thoughtful person but it will mean a lot to someone if you show you're thinking of them and make them feel appreciated.  
11. Have respect for yourself and respect for others. Empathise with people and stand up for yourself and stand up for others too. You can be assertive and respectable so be both. Be kind and don't be afraid to show it because it's a beautiful quality. 
12. Don't say a bad word about anyone. This is something I was always good at growing up. However as I age I'm getting a tad gossipy for my liking due to boredom of living in a pandemic and possibly age who knows? Try to refrain from gossiping because not speaking badly of others is a likeable trait at the end of the day. If people talk about others to you they'll talk about about you to others too. You don't have to join in on anything that makes you uncomfortable and challenging this behaviour is such a good way to carry yourself because there's far more interesting things to talk about than idle gossip.
13. Don't tell people your business or be nosey. Try not to be overbearing or presumptuous. Be aware of when you're crossing lines. Asking overly personal questions or demanding explanations for things that don't concern you can be seen as crass. Telling people your business can also make others feel uncomfortable. 
14. Don't judge people. I actively do my best not to assume the worst as it can be very self-righteous and negative. Why do we think we're better than others? Stand up for what's right but remain open minded and graceful because you never know what's going on in peoples lives and we shouldn't know all the facts anyway so don't use that as an excuse to invade their privacy or personal space. We can be assertive as well as kind so hitting that sweet spot is a good balance to avoid being aggressive or presumptuous. 
15. Don't let anyone be mean to you and certainly don't let it get to you. Classy people don't let bullies or losers hurt their feelings because they know they're winning. Classy people also don't tear other people down, they build them up and compliment them instead. They congratulate others on their achievements and they believe the grass is greener wher they water it.
16. Spend your time bettering yourself instead of having your nose in other peoples business.
17. Be helpful and teachable. You're not always right so keep being inquisitive and help others when you can but don't let them take advantage of you. 
18. Don't be afraid to say no and believe me when I say you don't need an explanation for it. No is an answer on it's own and far too many people don't respect our wishes but that doesn't mean we should accommodate at our own expense. 
19. Make an effort. It's classy to do your best and always have integrity. Be hardworking but be honest about it. If you put in all the work in private then you won't have anything to be pretentious about.
20. Don't let anyone intimidate you and if they try, do something about it but remember there's more than one way to skin a cat. 
21. Be kind. Carrying yourself properly takes a lot of kindness so don't be that person who's unpleasant to everyone for no reason.
22. Be honest and stop judging yourself. People who are confident in themselves and have no pretences naturally put us at ease. We can watch them without feeling uncomfortable and these are the people that we gravitate towards and be ourselves around. That's the epitome of elegance right there, being honest and our best selves without alienating our self. 
23. Boost your self esteem by using positive affirmations everyday. Look in the mirror and appreciate what you see, even if it's not ideal have a sense of gratitude for what you do like and learn to love yourself. If you're more confident and put yourself first you can adequately serve others better. Self-care isn't selfish and if you take care of number one then you'll amaze yourself by what you can do for the people around you. 
24. Don't start drama, it can be very undignified to start petty arguments so learn to choose your battles and have restraint. The less you lose your temper the more control you have over your emotions until eventually you build up a good temperament which will take you far. I can't remember the last time I lost my temper. I found when I started either communicating when something bothered me or letting it go I felt at peace. What I don't do is let things go if they do actually bother me because that grey area is what your disagreements will likely be about. You don't have to raise your voice, once you shout, you've lost but if you tell people what's bothering you in a cool, calm and collected manner then it's nipped in the bud. Don't let it fester then you'll have the ability to either let more things truly go or deal with them in a fair understanding manner.
25. Appearance. If you look put together you're more inclined to carry yourself well so make an effort with how you look then people will naturally have a better impression of you. We judge others mostly on their body language and how they look then it's their tone of voice and how they say things. only a small percentage of how we judge others is on what they're actually saying so invest in your appearance and work on your body language. Tidy yourself up everyday, make sure you look presentable no matter where you're going. You don't have to wear makeup just focus on personal hygiene, looking clean and professional. Work on your tonality, how you say things matters more than the content of what you're saying so don't underestimate your speaking voice. You don't have to look glamorous but I'd recommend good grooming and regular haircuts. Don't go out with dirty hair and always wear good clothes as that will make you feel more empowered.